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Monthly Archives: January 2011

Cheating

Just as Mrs. Waldman hands out the spelling test, you see Jeff pull out a small piece of paper with a lot of little scribbling on it. Jeff tucks the note into his closed fist but soon takes it out again. While he’s taking the test, you see him looking back and forth between the teacher and his paper. There’s no mistaking it — he’s cheating.

What Exactly Is Cheating?

Cheating is when a person misleads, deceives, or acts dishonestly on purpose. For kids, cheating may happen at school, at home, or while playing a sport. If a baseball team is for kids who are 8 or younger, it’s cheating for a 9-year-old to play on the team and hit home run after home run.

At school, in addition to cheating on a test, a kid might cheat by stealing someone else’s idea for a science project or by copying a book report off the Internet and turning it in as if it’s his or her original work. Copying someone else’s words or work and saying they’re yours is a type of cheating called plagiarizing (say: play-jeh-rise-ing).

How Do People Cheat?

Cheating can happen in a lot of different ways. Jeff is doing it by sneaking answers to a test, but it’s also cheating to break the rules of a game or contest or to pretend something is yours when it isn’t. When people cheat, it’s not fair to other people, like the kids who studied for the test or who were the true winners of a game or contest.

It’s tempting to cheat because it makes difficult things seem easy, like getting all the right answers on the test. But it doesn’t solve the problem of not knowing the material and it won’t help on the next test — unless the person cheats again.

Sometimes it may seem like cheaters have it all figured out. They can watch TV instead of studying for the spelling test. But other people lose respect for cheaters and think less of them. The cheaters themselves may feel bad because they know they are not really earning that good grade. And, if they get caught cheating, they will be in trouble at school, and maybe at home, too.

Why Kids Cheat

Some kids cheat because they’re busy or lazy and they want to get good grades without spending the time studying. Other kids might feel like they can’t pass the test without cheating. Even when there seems to be a “good reason” for cheating, cheating isn’t a good idea.

If you were sick or upset about something the night before and couldn’t study, it would be better to talk with the teacher about this. And if you don’t have enough time to study for a test because of swim practice, you need to talk with your parents about how to balance swimming and school.

A kid who thinks cheating is the only way to pass a test needs to talk with the teacher and his or her parents so they can find some solutions together. Talking about these problems and working them out will feel better than cheating.

Truth and Consequences

Many kids feel tempted to cheat once in a while. Most resist and do the work instead. Some kids cheat once and feel so bad that they never do it again. Others get caught and decide it isn’t worth it. Unfortunately, some kids start cheating and feel like they can’t stop.

Kids who cheat may feel worried about getting caught. Whether they are caught or not, these kids may feel guilty, or embarrassed, or ashamed — or all three. Even if the cheater feels fine or doesn’t get caught, that doesn’t mean it’s OK. If you see someone cheating, or if someone asks to copy your work, you can tell a teacher or another grown-up.

Kids who get caught cheating might be given a “zero” score on the assignment, be sent to the principal’s office, and have their parents contacted. Worse than the bad grade may be the feeling of having disappointed other people, like parents and teachers. A parent may worry that you are not an honest person and a teacher might watch you more closely the next time you’re taking a test.

Cheaters cheat themselves in a way because they don’t make an honest attempt to learn as much as they can. For instance, if you cheat your way through spelling tests, you won’t learn how to spell. That can katch — I mean catch — up with you when you get older! And adults who cheat — at work, sports, or in their relationships — get into serious trouble, far more serious than a bad grade on a spelling test.

Making a Comeback

There are plenty of reasons why a kid shouldn’t cheat, but some kids have already cheated. If that’s you, it’s never too late to stop cheating. Cheating can become a habit, but like other bad habits, a kid can always decide to act better and make better choices. It might help to talk the problem over with a parent, teacher, or counselor. Choosing to play fair and be honest again can help a kid feel relieved and proud.

There’s an old saying that cheaters never win and winners never cheat. This may sound confusing because sometimes it seems like cheaters do win — at least for the moment. But kids who don’t cheat are true winners because, when they win, they do it fair and square.

Reviewed by: D’Arcy Lyness, PhD
Date reviewed: July 2010

This article is lifted from KidsHealth.org

http://kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/emotion/cheating.html#


 
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Posted by on January 31, 2011 in Fairness

 

Guidance Topic of the Week: FAIRNESS

Our topic for Guidance period this week is FAIRNESS.  I will be posting articles and videos regarding this topic. Feel free to write comments, ask questions, and even share links to other articles relevant to this topic.  Thanks!  =)

 
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Posted by on January 27, 2011 in Fairness

 

Music: 10 Songs About Peace and Conflict Resolution

Here are 10 songs about peace and conflict resolution that I found in my playlist.  I also posted this in the Guidance website for the students “www.askteacherjoseph.wordpress.com

Enjoy!  =)

Vodpod videos no longer available.

 
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Posted by on January 23, 2011 in Conflict Resolution

 

Sibling Rivalry: Ways to Avoid the Fights

written by: Angie Shiflett, Yahoo! Contributor Network

Sibling Rivalry is very common in families that have more than one child. It can range from very severe cases to the occasional case. It is never easy for parents when this occurs. When I brought home my second child from the hospital and my oldest son saw the baby for the first time, I will never forget how he ran and cried. He certainly did not care for the idea of a younger brother, and he was only sixteen months old! I did not know much about sibling rivalry at that point, but nearly five years later, I can assure you that I am quickly learning.

My sister and I were ten and a half years apart, and I am the oldest. We really did not experience a lot of sibling rivalry. In fact, the most I ever remember us fighting about growing up was space restrictions and requirements. As I got older, I wanted my space, and, of course, her being the youngest and looking up to me, she always wanted to follow me around. However, with my kids, and the fact that they are very close in age, I see a little bit of this every single day. I have learned, over time, various ways to deal with this issue, and in this article, I will share with you what I have learned. Keep in mind; however, as they grow older, you must learn to tweak the system a little bit. As your children grow and change, the sibling rivalry will grow and change with them.

I have found that most of the issues that my kids have had has to do with toys and taking turns. My husband and I have adjusted to the fact that when we purchase items for our children, we must purchase similar items as to not cause a conflict. Many things that we purchase are identical. If the items come in the colors that our children consider their favorite, blue and green, we will purchase one of each color. We have found that by purchasing items in this manner, the fighting is reduced and things are much more peaceful.

 

Another way to ensure that the amount of fighting between siblings is  reduced is by keeping your home as peaceful and calm as possible. I have seen households that always seem to be in an uproar, and the rivalry between siblings in those families is unbelievable! Be sure that there is not a lot of yelling, fighting, and stress. This will be helpful in dealing with sibling rivalry.

When the kids deserve to be punished for something that they have done, it is important to offer them choices. While not all parents may agree with this, my husband and I feel that this works well. When the children have a say in their discipline, it helps them to understand that they are taking responsibility for their actions and they are more capable of understanding why they are being punished. An example would be that they are fighting over a toy and it gets a little out of hand. We would sit down so that we are speaking to them at their level, explain why they are being punished, and allow them to take a few minutes in the corner, or lay down on the bed for a few minutes. Once the punishment is over, it is important to bring them back and have them convey what they understand about what just occurred so that you know that they have learned from the incident. Then tell them how proud you are of them for learning, give them a big hug and kiss and tell them you love them.

When punishing children with siblings, it can be difficult. It is especially difficult if only one of them is being punished. When using the time out method, be sure to understand the proper amount of time out is one minute per year. If they are six years old, then they should be placed in time out for six minutes, etc….

It is important to be as objective as possible when dealing with sibling rivalry and not take sides. Taking sides could actually make the situation much worse. Take time to hear both sides of the story and do not jump to conclusions, or be quick to anger. When you find that your children are playing well together, praise them for doing so well. Explain to them that the behavior they are performing is what you want to see more of. If you must, give them a sticker or a small token of appreciation for their cooperation. Keep in mind that it is always very important to point out the positive, especially when they understand pointing out the negative. Feeling good about themselves can reduce sibling rivalry almost completely.

 

This is lifted from The Yahoo! Contributor Network.

The Yahoo! Contributor Network allows writers, photographers, and videographers to share their knowledge and passion with hundreds of millions of people worldwide. Find your audience and earn money by publishing your unique perspectives on Associated Content and other Yahoo! sites.

 
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Posted by on January 23, 2011 in Conflict Resolution

 

Mediation: Helping people sort things out

Contents

What is mediation?

Have you and your friend ever had a big argument? Were you both so upset that you just couldn’t sort things out?

  • Maybe you stopped being friends for a while?
  • Maybe you are still not friends?

Sometimes it can be really hard to sort things out. That’s where mediation (say mee-dee-ay-shun) can be helpful.

Mediation is when you ask a third person to help you.

  • The mediator (say mee-dee-ay-tor) can be a parent, teacher, counsellor or some other trusted adult.
  • They may even be one of your classmates or an older student in the school.
    mediation

What skills do you need?

A mediator needs to be someone who will not take sides with one or the other of you.

* They must be able to stay calm and be assertive.
* They must be a really good active listener.
* They must be really fair and make sure that everyone gets an equal chance to tell their side of the argument.
* They must be able to think clearly and see what the problem is.
* They must be able to get the people concerned thinking about ways to solve the problem.
* They must help the people to look for a win/win result.

peer mediation

Many schools nowadays have a Peer Mediator program that is run by the older students in the school. If you are interested in helping others to sort out their problems, then ask if you can do the training.

How to mediate

Even if you haven’t done the training, here are the steps you can use to help others.

A. Say that you are willing to act as mediator.

  1. Ask if they want you to mediate.
  2. Find somewhere to go that is quiet and away from everyone else.
    problem
  3. Ask them to agree that:
    • they want to solve the problem
    • there will be no name calling
    • they won’t interrupt when the other person is talking
    • what is said is in confidence.

B. Listen actively. That means looking at the speaker, making
listening noises and making sure that you have got it right by:

* Asking the first person, “What happened?” then paraphrase, (say para-frayze) – that means repeating back what they said in your own words.
* If the first person agrees that you have understood, then ask that person how they feel about it. Repeat the feeling, eg. “So, you felt angry, or sad, or upset…?”
* Ask the second person, “What happened?” Paraphrase their answer to make sure that you’ve got it right.
* Ask how that person felt. Repeat the feeling.


C. Look for ways to solve the problem.

* Ask person 1 “What could you have done differently?” Paraphrase.
* Ask person 2, “What could you have done differently?” Paraphrase.
mediator
* Ask person 1, “What could you do right now to help solve the problem.” Paraphrase.
* Ask person 2, “What could you do right now to help solve the problem?” Paraphrase.
* Encourage first one, then the other, to come up with ideas.Remember, only one person can talk at a time.


D. Find a solution.

Help the two people to find a solution they both feel good about.

* You may ask how they feel about different ideas they came up with.
* You may ask which bits of a solution they each like and which bits they don’t.
* You may suggest that each be willing to give in a bit so that they can find a solution they can both accept.
* Repeat the solution and ask each one in turn if they agree to all of it.
* Congratulate both people on working through their problems. Maybe you could all shake hands too.
solution

REMEMBER: as a mediator you do not talk about what happened in the mediation process with anyone. People have told you stuff in confidence, and it is not OK for you to talk about these private matters.

When to get help

You need to get help from a trusted adult if:

* the people won’t stick to the rules of mediation ask a trusted adult if you need help
* you feel unsafe
* others try to join in
* you could first try asking them to go away, or leave yourself with the people who have the problem, and find another place
* you feel uncomfortable with the problem being discussed
* you feel that it is an unsafe secret and could lead to someone being harmed in some way, eg. bullying or drugs.

 

What kids say about being a mediator

  • “I have been a mediator for 2 years. At first there were a lot of problems to help sort out. Some kids don’t understand. They think I will help them to get their own way. I’m there to try and help both people.”
  • “It can be really hard to help some people. Sometimes I just go and see the teacher on duty about it.”
  • “It can be really interesting. I have learned how to be a good listener and how to explain things well.”
  • “Sometimes it’s hard to get other kids to go away. Usually I just go away myself with the people who want to sort things out.”
  • “Some kids just won’t listen to each other or they listen and still think they should get their own way. It takes a while to learn how to negotiate a good solution.”

Dr Kim says

Dr KimEveryone has the right to be treated with respect.

Sometimes we can feel so upset that we cannot see clearly how to resolve a problem. Having someone mediate can calm things down, define the problem and help us think how to solve it while treating each other with respect.

Trying to get a solution where both sides win often means that both sides have to be prepared to lose something. Having the chance to talk quietly about their problems and be listened to, helps everyone feel better and more satisfied with the outcome.

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We’ve collected this information to help you to understand important things about staying healthy and happy. However, if you feel sick or unhappy, it is important to tell your mum or dad, a teacher or another grown-up.

 

This article has been lifted from the CYH website.

The Child and Youth Health web site is part of the Children, Youth and Women’s Health Service in South Australia. Our government minister is the Minister for Health, the Hon. John Hill, MP.


 
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Posted by on January 21, 2011 in Conflict Resolution

 

How to Resolve Conflicts Without Fighting

You hear teachers always remind you that you should report incidents as soon as possible so that they could help you resolve the conflict.  But sometimes it isn’t easy to find a teacher to help us right there and then with our conflict and misunderstandings.  Even the ever-reliable student supervisors’ hands may be full during recess and lunch when we  play in the soccer field or the Sports Center.

When an adult’s help is not readily accessible, here are some simple things you can do to resolve conflicts with your classmates:

  1. STOP.  Don’t let the conflict get worse.  The less angry you are, the easier it is to solve the problem.
  2. SAY what the conflict is all about.  What is causing the disagreement?  What does each other want or not want?
  3. THINK of positive options.
  4. CHOOSE a positive option that you can agree on.

 

**If you still can’t agree, ask someone else (an outsider) to help resolve the conflict.    ^_^

 

 
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Posted by on January 21, 2011 in Conflict Resolution

 

Guidance Topic of the Week: CONFLICT RESOLUTION

Our topic for Guidance period this week is CONFLICT RESOLUTION.  I will be posting articles and videos regarding this topic. Feel free to write comments, ask questions, and even share links to other articles relevant to this topic.  Thanks!  =)

 
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Posted by on January 13, 2011 in Conflict Resolution

 

Story: “The Empty Pot” by Demi

The Empty Pot” by Demi is the story of an Emperor in China who needed to select a successor to his throne.  Since he loved flowers, he decided to call the children in the kingdom together and give each a seed.  After one year the children were to return with their plant and the new Emperor would be chosen.  The child Ping tries many methods to grow his seed but nothing happens.

Sometimes, it takes courage to be honest.  Will Ping show up to the Emperor with an empty pot?  What will happen to him?  Watch and see. =)

Vodpod videos no longer available.

 
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Posted by on January 9, 2011 in Honesty

 

Sparktop: A cool educational website

I want to share this website I came across back when I was still a reading therapist in a school for kids with learning difficulty.  =)

WHAT IS SPARKTOP.ORG™?

SparkTop.org – where no two brains think alike – is a place where kids who learn differently can create awesome stuff … play great games … connect with other kids … and discover new ways to succeed in school and in life.

WHO RUNS IT?

SparkTop.org is run by the Professor Garfield Foundation (PGF), a not-for-profit organization dedicated to the FREE delivery of fun, engaging educational content. Jim Davis, creator of Garfield the Cat, had to overcome asthma and a stutter as a young child and feels that ALL of us have some challenge to overcome as we learn.

SparkTop was originally created by Schwab Learning, formerly a program of the Charles and Helen Schwab Foundation. In January, 2008, PGF was selected to care for the SparkTop.org site.

SO?

So while this website is operated by the Professor Garfield Foundation, it’s really you who makes SparkTop.org happen! Wherever you go here, you can interact with other kids and make great stuff. All while you become the world’s greatest expert on how you learn differently!

DO I HAVE TO REGISTER?

Nope. But you must register if you want to fully participate on SparkTop.org. Sure it’s a hassle. But registering helps us protect your privacy and safety while you’re on SparkTop.org. (Click here for Registration information.)

SO WHAT’S IT COST?

Nothing! Zip! Nada! Everything on SparkTop.org is free – the Create tools, LD tips, interactivity, games, and much more. SparkTop.org is even an ad-free zone!So what’re you waiting for? Click on out of here and start sparking!

http://www.sparktop.org/

 
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Posted by on January 8, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire: Why Do Children Fib?

Authors Po Bronson and Ayelet Waldman discuss the intricacies of childhood lying. Bronson offers the developmental cycle of lying in young children, while Waldman illustrates with a humorous story.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

 
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Posted by on January 7, 2011 in Honesty